Soundtrack of School.

[TiaLynn]

She walked through the hallways, so empty inside, like her soul had melted and poured out of her. Her eyes were not filled with life, but a dull shine just to show there was something there, just for show, really. All her life she was told she was nothing, now she really was. Living out her pathetic, meaningless destiny. Down the hallway you could hear conversations. Thousands of them at once, all morphing together like the buzzing of flies’ wings. She heard none of it, just buzzing and her feet scraping and shuffling on the floor, mixed with her dull, faint breathing; this was her everyday soundtrack, set to repeat.

Suddenly, something broke out of the buzzing. It sounded familiar, but she kept walking just in case. It was a fellow classmate and her posy of giggling airheads. They thought they were as tough as nails and ruled the school, like being that “important” in high school will get you places. Right. Keep dreaming. She kept walking.

“Hey freak!” the leader jeered, “going to go slit your wrists again? Why don’t you just kill yourself and give up this stupid game you play all the time? It’s not like anyone will miss you anyway, you just want attention. So pathetic.” Her posy giggled like she was a worldwide comedian. The leader smirked cruelly and coldly at the back of the lifeless girls’ head. The girl kept walking like she hadn’t heard a word. She heard everything. Every day was like this, the girl ignored it all always like she never learned emotions and maybe they melted too and washed away into the street or down the drain, to follow the missing soul.

The poor girl went through a whole day of torture, like every day, it was almost routine. Girls and boys would tease her and just not stop. But no matter what, the girl wouldn’t give, she would never speak after the incident, and that was a promise. A long wait and more ignoring, finally, her bus arrived. She sat in the front and always made a mental note to do so. She could remember her last mistake – sitting in the back. Everyone either stared or made fun of her; they threw garbage and even liquids at her like milk or juice. Inside she felt like screaming or crying, but outside she didn’t budge an inch, she sat in the front after that, and no one questioned her. Sometimes the kids would get smart and sneak up in a seat near her to try something funny, but lucky for her the bus driver was fond of her and always caught them in the mirror, there weren’t too many kids on her bus, so he knew them well. She liked Jack, he was a kind man.

Jack was in his early twenties and loved his job, driving gave him something no one could quite understand. The girl was just 6 years younger than Jack and secretly looked up to him. Each and every day she would look forward to seeing him for 40 minutes, 20 in the morning and 20 in the afternoon. Even though she never spoke to him, Jack was her only friend; he cared about her a lot. He never got to tell her that he looked forward to seeing her everyday too – but somehow, I think his smile and the twinkle in his eyes let her know.

The next day, the girl woke up and ate her breakfast quickly, like every morning. She rushed out the door and waited for her bus eagerly, he was a little late this morning. She almost jumped for joy when she saw his bus turning around the corner, her face remained unemotional – but her eyes were a dead giveaway. The bus rolled to a stop and the door slowly creaked open. The girl looked up, waiting to see his young, smiling face, but was shocked at what she did see. In front of her was a middle aged man who wore glasses with the utmost horrible looking grin on his face. That was not a Jack smile, it was a disgrace. She stood there staring in disbelief for a moment. “You getting on, miss?” the man croaked. He rather disgusted her. Calmly, she snapped out of it and got on the bus and sat down. Never before had 20 minutes been so lonely and filled with so many questions. A main question was, “Where is Jack?”

After many hours that seemed like days, school was over. She gathered her things and rushed out to the bus pad. When the bus arrived, there was still no Jack. The next day, there was no Jack. Days went by, still no Jack. Finally, a boy on her bus noticed this too and asked the question that was killing the poor girl. “Hey, uh, sir?” the boy said. The bus driver glanced at him in the rear view mirror, “Huh?” he grunted. “Where did Jack go? Is he sick?” he asked a little louder. Finally, the moment of truth, the girl leaned forward a bit and waited. The bus driver shook his head and croaked, “No, I have been told he passed away, he got hit by a drunk driver. Kind of ironic, but I am here on a permanent basis.” The heart of the girl skipped a beat and sank, her face fell and her whole body slid downward like her heart. Jack was the only thing she had – and now, now it was gone. Her Jack was gone. She walked home with the invisible tracks of tears on her face. No one noticed. She went to bed that night and did not sleep.

In the morning, she ate her cereal slowly and trudged to the bus like she did in the hallways. Now her pathetic destiny was on the bus too. Her peers continued to bother her, and she hardly heard it now, just a blur of nothingness.

The leader of the giggling airheads found out about Jack and how much he liked her. The heartless fiend saw her chance and took it. “Hey freak!” she called out, the girl kept walking. This time, the leader followed her. “I heard about your lover, Jack.” The girl stopped moving, and for a moment, stopped breathing. The leader grinned. “It was a real shame, you never even got to say…” her voice changed to that of a child, and she made her lips pouty; “I wuv you.” The girl slowly turned around, her face was a light pink and her eyes were more glossy than normal. She was battling her tears. The leader began laughing, “Aw, look!” her possy did not laugh with her this time. One piped up, “I think you went too far…” she whispered. The leader scowled at her follower. “Too far!? I don’t think I went far enough on this waste of life!” she growled. The follower recoiled and backed up, hanging her head. The leader looked back at her follower and smirked pridefully like she had won. The girl’s lips trembled. Her hand raised up angrily, Jack was behind her telling her no and pleading. Hot tears streamed down her face and the leader looked around. The girl’s hand flung back and struck the leader hard on her cheek. Her fell to her side and the leader stood with a red outline of a hand on her face and a look of utmost panic. The girl stared as the tears kept rolling; many onlookers gasped and began whispering at the leaders face and the whole scene. Suddenly, the world went quiet as the girl opened her mouth to actually speak. It took her a few moments to regain the last bit of strength she had. “That… was for everything.” The girl said behind gritted teeth as Jack himself had begun to cry. She walked away again, her face now screamed what she was feeling. It was now lunch.

The girl’s teachers heard about the incident and began to worry for the girl. Her teacher waited for the bell to ring, and her heart skipped a beat when it did. She picked up the black and white list with names scattered over it. She received a “here: after each name. She looked up and did not see the girl or her hand quietly raised to acknowledge her presence. She wasn’t on the bus ride home. Her mother awaited for her to hop off the bus and to nag her about forgetting to do some minor thing. The mother said no such things, and got worried about her for the first time ever. I will never forget her face at that moment.

After a week, just when the tension couldn’t seem to get thicker – the doorbell rang. The mother’s eyes widened, her mug fell to the floor and shattered, and she ran over the broken pieces barefoot and rushed to the door. Her face was whiter than pure white snow; she took a breath and opened the door. It was a police officer. I was so stunned I couldn’t hear anything; I only saw their lips moving grimly. The mother looked at me with a pleading stare and gave me the ‘one moment’ finger. I nodded and she walked out the door leaving behind her mug mess and blood from her souls. She returned an hour later with a not very hopeful face. She looked like a window that had a rock chucked at it. So broken, a hole where her heart was, never to be the same. Her feet were still bare and bleeding, the wound hadn’t healed.

I dragged myself to school the next day, I felt like the girl a bit inside. The principle’s voice came over the PA, “All students…” his voice cracked unusually and he continued, “Please make your way to the auditorium.” Today was not a normal assembly day, what was odder was that he sounded devastated. Something was up. Could he possibly know? I walked to the auditorium.

He stood there in front of us all, and when seeing his face, you knew it was serious, you knew not to talk. You could hear a pin drop; we were being choked by silence. He waited a moment before speaking; he was clearly bogged down with thoughts and was regaining his strength and voice. “Students…A recent tragedy has come over our school.” He said grimly as students looked about in a slight panic and total confusion. He carried on, “It has been discovered that bullying has gotten a bit out of hand. We know this because of a former student who took their life due to certain events. I have gathered you all here to warn and inform. Things are going to change.” Pain and shock jabbed my heart like a long, thin needle impaling my body. I hardly had time to blink; I didn’t hear the rest of the assembly. My face matched the mother’s at that moment.

The leaders possy left her and became their own people with their own rules. The leader didn’t speak much after that, and neither did anyone. Everyone seemed to understand each other, and nothing bad was said. The suicide of the girl was glued permanently in their heads, even people who said they didn’t care before. Everyone went to her funeral, the casket was closed. She was too cut up. Outside… and inside. I looked at it and my eyes began to lightly shower, “Goodbye…Katherine.” I whispered to her and blinked away the rain. I never got to really show her I loved her, and her mother didn’t either – it killed us, the way she died. Sometimes I look back and wish I had been… a better sister.